2017 Championship Game Naming Tournament - Sweet Sixteen
<---Previous Introduction Happy Tournament Tuesday everybody! Before we begin, a special happy birthday shoutout to Chris. Chris has now had three birthdays since his last playoff appearance, the longest current streak in the league. Let’s see if we can make it four, huh? Results We had two major upsets in the opening round last week, so let’s get right into the results and then introduce the final 12 teams. ---- The Patriots Bowl (5) vs. The Terminator Bowl (4) Real Bowl v. Bowl slugfest at the top of the bracket but the Patriot homers came out to the voting booths and sent Ahnold packing. ---- The Infinity Cup (6) vs. The NaCl Porpoise Payoff (3) Everyone loves a good jab at Nate, but apparently this jab just wasn’t good enough. Perhaps it was too long of a name, or maybe people didn’t see the porpoise in naming a championship game after a fish. Seems like the only one who should be salty is the person who came up with this name. ---- The Million Dollar Game (6) vs. The Gauntlet of the Gods (3) The second blowout and the second big upset was MDG over the GotG. I hope you didn’t vote against Gauntlet because you thought it was my name because I promise you it was not. Both of my names are still out there...lurking… ---- All the Marbles Game (6) vs. The Patriot Cup (3) Well, I guess now we know the answer to the age old question: is it better to be a cup or a bowl? Patriot Bowl moves on, Patriot Cup goes home. The Patriot v. Patriot matchup is not meant to be. All the Marbles Game, meanwhile, somehow doubles up their opponent to move on. The Bracket Now we reveal our full 20-team bracket. Four names out, 16 left. Sweet Sixteen Festival of Champions vs. The Patriots Bowl Festival of Champions has a medieval vibe to it. This makes the final game of the season feel like a celebratory event, one during which the new king will be crowned. Since we’re talking middle ages, it fits that His Majesty Shotti makes his opponents look like Jokers. ---- The Heart and Soul Bowl vs. The Heavyweight Championship Two newcomers go head-to-head. The Heart and Soul Bowl has a nice ring to it, with soul and bowl pairing nicely like a fine wine and some provolone cheese. Meanwhile, heart and soul is truly what it takes to go the distance. The heart and the soul are also the two casualties of a playoff loss (the former gets torn out of your chest, the latter just withers away). The Heavyweight Championship speaks to how much of a slugfest the season is and specifically the big game at the end. The winner will obviously be declared the heavyweight champion. ---- The Glory Bowl vs. The Infinity Cup Is the Infinity Cup this year’s Cinderella story? After taking down the Salty Porpoise, they run right into another potential juggernaut. The Glory Bowl is a direct reference to the Eternal Cup of Glory, plus its a little humorous because it plays on “glory hole.” It also infers that the final game isn’t simply about money or stats or trophies or any of that. The game is all for Glory. But is it epic enough to beat The Infinity Cup? ---- The Greatest Game of All-Time (GGoAT) of the Year vs. The “Whoever Dies First” Memorial Bowl Folks, some things in life just ain't fair. And this matchup of two top names is one of those things. As always, I randomized the bracket, and these two came out together in the opening round. Both absolute behemoths in the game, but one will have to go. First up, the Greatest Game of All-Time (GGoAT) of the year. A lot of layers to this thing, like Inception. In the first level, it talks about the championship game as the best that can possibly played (even though it’s played anew every season). But abbreviate the first half of the name and you get GGoAT. Obviously G.O.A.T. stands for greatest of all-time, so when you abbreviate you get GOAT of the Year. Whoever wins this earns the title of GOAT of the Year. By winning the greatest game, you have earned the title of greatest team. Not to be outdone, we have The “Whoever Dies First” Memorial Bowl. If this name wins, it will stay as is for the foreseeable future. When the first one of us passes into the great big football field in the sky, the name will permanently change. So when Nate dies of a heart attack for starting the wrong Bengals runningback, the name will change to The Nate the Great Memorial Bowl. Hopefully for many decades to come the name would stay The “Whoever Dies First” Memorial Bowl so keep all that in mind while voting. I guess if this one manages to win the Sweet Sixteen we could start calling it The “GOAT of the Year” Memorial Bowl. Got ‘em! ---- The I Wan Da Gol Game vs. The Million Dollar Game The Million Dollar Game is officially this tournament’s heel and it heads into a matchup against newbie The I Wan Da Gol Game. I Wan Da Gol is a reference to the viral leprechaun video from 2006 when a group of geniuses in Mobile, Alabama were convinced there was a leprechaun snooping around in the trees. Based on the sketch, I have to conclude that there is in fact a real leprechaun out there somewhere... Does this hilarious reference have what it takes to beat back the tournament villain? ---- The Cup of Groot vs. The Eternal Glory Bowl Another matchup of two newcomers. The Cup of Groot is an obvious play to the Marvel crowd, while The Eternal Glory Bowl tries to one-up the North Bracket’s “Glory Bowl” with an added little splash of Eternity. So for the one person here who does not watch Marvel Movies, Groot is the talking tree who dances and kicks ass in outer space and occasionally sacrifices himself and has to be regrown in a tiny planter pot. I know what you’re thinking and yes I am sure they were dropping acid when they wrote this movie. So we like Groot, I guess that’s the selling point for this name. Who doesn’t like Groot? Hard to say much about the Eternal Glory Bowl since I already talked about the Glory Bowl. This one is one word longer. Are the Glory Bowl’s destined to meet in the name tourney championship? Or will they cancel each other out and both be eliminated in the Sweet Sixteen? Is it better to be extra short and sweet and just call it the glory bowl, or does the addition of “Eternal” give it that extra spark that puts it over the edge as a great name? ---- Lord of the League Bowl vs. All the Marbles Game “One Commish to rule them all..one Commish to bind them..one Commish to bring them all and in the darkness fine them.” Lord of the League has a little bit of Lord of the Rings vibe going on, plus the alliteration, plus it establishes the stakes of the big game. It flows really well and it uses “bowl” instead of “Cup” which obviously is a big advantage if we have learned anything about cup vs. bowl dynamics. All the Marbles, on the other hand, is coming off a big win over the Patriots and looks to keep the momentum going against Frodo and the one ring. ---- The Game of Games vs. The Battle of the Eternity Yes, folks, that is correct. “The Battle of the Eternity.” This is a fight for the Eternal Cup of Glory. Or, I guess, this is a fight of the eternal cup of glory...no, wait...this is a fight of the eternity cup of glory? It’s a battle, damnit. The Game of Games is simple, yet eloquent. Similar to the Heart and Soul bowl and the Festival of Champions, GoG highlights the importance of the game. But is it too simple? Important Dates * 6/20 Chris's Birthday * 6/27 Elite Eight Revealed (3rd round voting begins) * 7/11 Final Four Revealed (4th round voting begins) * 7/18 Last Two Revealed (5th round voting begins) * 7/25 Championship Game Name Winner /Off-Season Winner Announced * 8/6 Dues Payment Deadline (Pay your dues ASAP. The off-season winner will get their dues reimbursed by me personally. There isn’t a way to exempt someone from paying in the Yahoo system). * 8/9 Schedule/Draft Order Release Write-up * 8/23 Keeper Deadline (after this date if you have not submitted keepers to me you don’t get keepers) * 8/27 LoC Draft - 8pm ET (That’s 8pm Rhode Island time, not 8pm California time, remember some of you® yahoos are set to Pacific). * 9/3 Week 1 Power Rankings Write-up * 9/7 Week 1 Kickoff Random Answer of the Week You guys aren’t going to believe this, but none of us could agree on what the reward should be. The good news is only one person voted that it wasn’t fair, so his opinion is going to be completely disregarded. Look, I get it: this is fantasy football and the owner that does the best job assembling his team and managing his players should win. Too many extracurriculars dilutes the process. But I don’t think playing around with the schedule a little bit offers that much of an advantage. If anything, it increases the rivalries and gamesmanship. If you have a good team it shouldn’t matter. When the Survivor competition is set up I will announce the prize. VOTE Okay, I know, most of you skipped to this part anyway. Here is the link. Vote ya hearts out. Or should I say vote your hearts and soul bowls out?